I recently listened to a Tara Brach Podcast called Loving Ourselves into Healing. It resonated so deeply that I listened to it 3 times.

I’ve become increasingly aware over the past few years that a lot of my own negative patterns of behaviour stem from childhood trauma. I’ve spent a lot of my adult life in fight or flight – over working, over delivering & being over proactive & exhausting myself. I have realised that it’s because I feel like I’m not enough. Deep down I feel that simply being me is going to get me scapegoated (thanks parents), so I’d better add extra bells & whistles to make myself lovable & safe.

Tara explained that the very best way to heal is to accept love & also love ourselves. Not that that is easy.

Loving Yourself Takes Discipline

My understanding is that loving ourselves takes dedication & practise. It helps to slow ourselves down to notice & unpick when we are judging ourselves. We’d never criticise our friends in the severe way we judge ourselves. We have to stop to notice our negative self talk & try to give ourselves love instead.

I’ve been journaling about this, & I think mindful activities are my best way to love myself – art, walks in nature, playing guitar & doing kundalini. Through these practices I experience a sense of appreciation & calm, & can be kinder to myself. I’ve started to understand that over striving is a form of hurting myself & I want that to stop.

This is all a work in progress, but it feels like the right path to me, I’d love to hear your thoughts.

Learn To Love Yourself More